“Hiraeth”

Outside looking in,
I don’t like this feeling I experience,
An ache,
Deep within my chest,
The rest doesn’t make much sense,
But I know it never will. It can’t.

Unexplainable grief flows through me,
Like dinners cabernet,
This feeling doesn’t go away,
It lasts,
It changes.

I can’t explain it,
But years pass in time,
I’m drawn to you,
And it’s as if I can feel the tears,
Running down my throat,
Asking you why,
When all I’ve done is try.

Angry memories flood,
Hedonistic lust for the worst,
I want you to scream like I’ve screamed,
I want you to hurt like I’ve hurt,
And when time turns,
And you’re old and grey,
I don’t want you to look at me and say,
You love me.

I can’t fight it anymore,
Stockholm brick walls bury me below,
When I’m tired and sore,
I’m just afraid,
You’ll be there
To hold me,
And close the tomb.

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